So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
