Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
