I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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