everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
