Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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