Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
