your parents love me but you hate me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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