I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
