We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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