Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
