found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
