Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
