put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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