I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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