***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
