Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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