I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
