Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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