I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
