Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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