If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
