I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
