i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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