Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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