I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
