I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
