party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
please come you make the beer taste better
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
