Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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