The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
