lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
