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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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• (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

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