Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize