Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
