Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you had me at cake vodka
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
