i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
