so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
