By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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