I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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