i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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