I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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