sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
