it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
