We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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