I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
