we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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