I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
