While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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