I wish I could teleport
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
