I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
