Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
