I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
