Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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