Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize