Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
