I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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