i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
