Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MIDGETS
????
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