my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
