What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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