Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize