It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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