Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
