I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
