Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
