Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
